Apply the safety catch ...

OK. I have a confession to make. For decades I have always stated that if I ever became a member of parliament, one of the first things that I would do would be to pass a private members bill to allow me to mount a sub-machine gun on the bonnet of my car, aimed at the wheels of caravans that were making me crawl at a snails pace down some country lane. (It was meant as a tongue-in-cheek remark but would often draw looks of understanding from equally frustrated drivers).

I have been a passionate camper for many years and my wife too (although she would probably admit to being a long suffering camper). There is nothing quite like to sound of rain on canvas - although this year has been something of an OD! But despite my wife planting the seed of an idea and nuturing it for the past10 years, my position on the sub ject was very clear; no way would you ever see me hauling a caravan. Sorted!

And then, just a few weeks ago, my wonderful partner in life suggested ever so sweetly that perhaps we could just pop in to our local caravan dealer as we were passing that way anyway. No problem - bullet proof - what's the harm.

Well, after wondering in and out various caravans with my non-committal face on, we stepped into one, upon which two unexpected events took place in quick succession. The first was a little voice in my head that said "wow - this looks really nice". The second was seeing the far away look in my wife's eyes as she fell head over heels in love with the van and the promises of relaxing weeks of caravaning in secluded spots, sheltered from the worst of the rain. What chance did I stand?

So we are now the proud owners of our very first caravan. My wife is so thrilled and excited that she is speechless at times. I am also speechless but for a different reason - my mouth is full from eating humble-pie and it's rude t speak with your mouth full. Its also amazing how good people's memories are when they recall what I used to say (loudly) about MPs and car bonnets.

And so, having put my L plates up, it's my turn to slow the traffic down to a snail's pace down some leafy country lane. What's a matter with these people forming a queue behind me? Don't they have any patience? Good times ahead, me thinks! :-)