Checking in 2020

Good afternoon Sir. Do you have your check in number ?

Sorry, that check in was booked for 12:30 – 12:45. You are 10 mins too late and I am afraid that slot has been taken. I see you wanted a 16:00 departure on Monday, the best I can offer for today is a check in at 17:45 – 18:00. However, if you can accept a 14:30 departure on Monday instead, I can do you a 15:30 check in.

You will take that ? OK, come back between 15:30 and 15:45 and we will get you sorted.

 

Good afternoon Sir. Do you have your check in number ?

Ahh. I see you have booked a standard pitch. Because of cancellations, or Warden's whim, I can do you an upgrade to a hard standing for £1.50 per night, or a serviced pitch for £2.50 per night.

What does a serviced pitch have extra ? Well Sir, it is hard standing. There is a pressure regulated water supply to your standard water inlet. Drainage connectors for your ISO standard grey waste and toilet outlets. Normal 45 Amp mains supply. Standard media connection with all satellite channels, both free and subscription. The usual internet connections, both wired at 100 Mbit and wifi, although this is restricted to 54Mbit.

Sorry, how much internet ? The usual 24/7 while you are here, same as all the other sites on the network.

Oh, nearly forgot, there is also one of the new regulated gas supply connectors for your barbie, from our bulk tanks, and we have adapters if yours is not compatible.

You will take that ? OK so the standard charge is £5.00, plus the £2.50 per night.

We make a standard charge for electricity used. We take £7.00 per day now, and refund any difference to your bank card at the end of your stay. The same with the water supply, that is £4.00 pre charge per day, with a refund if you use less.

Do we refund cash ? No Sir, sorry we don't handle cash at all on this site, we discontinued cash in 2015, same as all the other sites.

So, for your 10 nights stay, that will be £185.00. Don't forget, if you don't use too much electricity or water, you might get some of that back.

Now, these are the facility access cards for you and your wife. We load these up as required, and if you need any extra, just bring the card with your credit card to the office.

Do you need the showers ? Hot and cold or cold only ? Hot and cold for both.

Toilets ? Both.

Veg prep ? Wife only.

Laundry ? Its that room with the washing machines, didn't realise you had never seen one Sir, sorry. Wife only.

Rubbish disposal ? No, you will take it home with you. That will be fine Sir.

Shaver points ? Both? No, just you.

You won't need chemical disposal, so cross that one off. Same with drinking water. Bit of a saving there Sir.

Auto pitch ? Not seen that one Sir ? Its a new facility for serviced pitches only, being rolled out over the network. All you do is pull up by the pitch, making sure your caravan wheels are within the yellow marked boxes on the road. Unhitch, and tap in your PMC on the keypad on top of the pitch marker. Sorry, PMC is personal mover code, you will have been given one when your mover was fitted. Our system will then take over your mover, and pitch you perfectly.

You will give that a try ? OK no problem.

Dog walk ? No dog, thats OK. You have a parrott ? Just keep it on a lead.

And finally, do you need access to our mobile phone repeater system ? Yes ? OK, just let me have your mobile number and it will be active by the time you are pitched.

That will be a grand total of £7.00 per night, so for your 10 nights that is £70.00, plus the pitch fee of £185.00, a grand total of £250.00. Not too bad if you say it quickly Sir.

Your allocated pitch is number 66, which has been independently given a shade rating of 37%, and a sun rating of 53%. The rest of the time it will probably p*** down. Sir.

Now remember your booking has a departure time of 13:30. At 13:45, the auto pitch system will move your caravan back onto the road ready for departure.

If you will just pop back to your car, one of our volunteer runners will show you to your pitch.

Enjoy your stay.

 

Good afternoon Sir. Do you have your check in number ?