Stroke

I had a minor stroke(TIA) last summer in my early 70's. Fortunately my symptoms were nowhere near as severe. The one thing it did do was muck up my peripheral vision resulting in my licence being withdrawn. After much shenanigans, I have had it reissued but, whilst not wishing to add to your woes, a thorough eye check might be prudent. Your OH has less miles on the clock than me so that is to his advantage.

So sorry Artyboo - I can relate to life feeling like a car crash.  You have had some excellent advice so far - and I would add something.  PLEASE look after YOU - it is really important!  My son had an awful car crash which resulted in a 15 month hospital stay (300 miles from home) and he is wheelchair bound - I had to learn to look after me during those 15 months as it was exhausting and life changing of course too.  Well done you for taking on the towing - I am so glad I learnt to tow many years ago as caravanning is such a great way for me to get away.  My son is independent in his wheelchair and is going to caravan himself one day I think.

Artyboo,  so  sorry  to  hear  about  Mr  Artyboo.

Just  one  thought --  when  my  late  father  had  a

stroke  in  his  mid  60's  he  struggled  on,  as

determined / bolshie  as  anybody  else.

BUT  some  days  he  was  very  weepy  --  not

feeling  sorry  for  himself  at  all  but  just Damn  Well

Frustrated  because  he  knew  what  to  do  and

he  wanted  so  much  to  do  it  that  he  upset  himself

and  folks  trying  to  comfort  him  just  made  it  worse.

It  is  needful,  at  times,  just  to  step  back  &  make a

brew,  or  do  a  shopping  list  'til  they  calm  down  a 

shade  and  think  what  to  do  instead  !

Best  Wishes  to  you  Both

Brian  A B M

So sorry to hear of your husband's stroke, I wish him and indeed yourself well and must say how I admire you for getting stuck in and learning how to tow.

Regrettably I have no additional information that might help you in these circumstances.

All the best.

Thanfully i cant comment on your long term prospects but i hope your husband makes a full recovery as soon as possible.Just take it one step at a time and i,m sure you will be fine.

All the very best,

Peter.

My wife had a stroke (although the symptoms weren't obvious to me or the ambulance crew), probably a TIA initially, when she was in A & E.That was in summer 2011. We were 180 miles away from home in the caravan with two dogs.

She was affected down her right side also, quite severely, and no speech. She was in hospital for two months before they let her home.

I could not have been more proud of the way she has fought back with shear determination to not let it beat her. She had been very talented at needlework and watercolour painting.

Speech came back first, followed by right hand and foot movement, albeit stiff and jerky. 

It was hard for both of us but her determination and my absolute support in everything she tried she is now doing everything she used to, just a bit slower. She is back driving also. Skill is good, confidence is growing.

What i'm trying to say is do not be disheartened by what you see now. Love, support and understanding on your part and his courage and determination can work wonders. I am still seeing small improvements.

Good luck to you both.

JohnE

Delighted to hear a positive outcome. Makes one look at life very differently - sorts out what's important. 

I meant to say in my earlier post that one day the event 'heart attack' in our case, isn't the first thing you think of on waking or the last thought before sleeping not to mention a thousand times in between. It does eventually recede to not being the dominant item in both of your lives but it does take time. I remember someone saying that to me in the early days and I thought nah. But it does happen one day.  Thinking of you both. 

Your post jogged my memory John. I remember some 40 years ago nearly. A chap that lived on our road had a stroke that took away the use of his arm and speech. He was able to walk, but not easily. My late wife was an ex nurse and every weekday whilst our daughter was in school she would pop round for 40 mins or more and make sure that he was doing his physio exercises and talking to him. As she said to me 'it's either use it or loose and I'll make sure he gets going'. No idea of that chaps age but I would also call round occasionally and have a laugh with him as humour is important. 

 I remember saying to my wife 'no wonder the bugger got mobile quickly just to get some peace' 

I spent a night and part of the following day in a stroke ward early this year and I think that there were 7 others on that ward, some of whom had been badly affected. What struck me was the amount of humour - some of it black - and how important that humour was as there was a long slog ahead of many to regain what they had lost. 

Artyboo, my wife, Mrs BT suffered a major stroke following a hip operation in October 2009. A blood clot made its way to her brain causing left sided paralysis, slight brain damage and slurred speach. She was in intensive  care for twenty one days, with us not knowing if she would pull through. I can empathise completely with your total "car crash" situation, she was 59 at the time, young in medical views, but vulnerable and frail in my eyes. She stayed in Banbury Hospital for six weeks, all the time in hospital she was under the care of the physio team and they worked wonders with her and also let me in on her sessions so that I could see the gradual progress she was making daily, slowly but surely. On her release she was referred to the Nuffield centre for Enablement  in Oxford, who treated her three days a week for six weeks assessing her for physical as well as mental disabilities. It is a  hard slog, fortunately we were in a position (being self employed and owning our own business) to sell up so I could provide support for her 24/7. She was also on warferin which required regular blood tests and assessment to determine her correct dose, this was another weekly appointment to be juggled in with her other hospital appointments, thankfully our doctor and surgery were the best we could hope for, nothing was to much trouble for them.

The difficult bit is knowing when to step back and let her do her own thing, you must do this, as hard as it seems at the time, thankfully my wife is a very determined person who will not sit in a chair and give up. You must constantly encourage all the time, even now, but know when to give time alone. you must also, and this is very important, LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, if you are not well then everything seems just too much, you can't let that happen as you are still depended upon. Fortunately we have two very devoted daughters who have been able to help and let me have a couple of hours off  here and there. This may seem hard, but believe me, it is  needed. A little recharge of the  batteries and you can take the world on again. To cut a long story short, my wife has made a good recovery to date, she can walk with a stick, her speach is perfect, she still has left sided weakness so needs help with dressing and showering etc. She also has a little short term memory loss, which can be a bit exasperating at times, but we laugh it off. sadly she has lost her license due to peripheral vision impairment, caused by the stroke and also the drugs which she must take daily. She still has a sad moment now and then and has a good cry for no reason that she can think of. That is the only down side, the good side is that she is still with us,  Keep positive, it can be hard at times, but you'll find a part of you that you never knew you had.....Good luck and best wishes for a good recovery.......

Thank you everyone for your kind wishes and stories. We managed to get him out for 'lunch' yesterday, lots of lovely friends turned up and they brought our dogs for him to see - that was a tonic for him. It tired him out but in a happy way.

i am so encouraged by your accounts of recovery. It's early days I know. 

I was talking to my Nursey friend Friday when I said 'I will get there'. She said 'yes you will, you don't have a choice'!

We WILL get there when we get there.

Thanks again all x