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Jonathan Manning invests in a fun-soaked white water rafting session on the River Tees

At High Force in the Pennines, the River Tees thunders through a gorge and crashes down a 21m fall in an explosion of frothing water. Forty miles downstream, four giant ‘Archimedes’ screws’ can be used to create a similarly formidable cascade of water, as 14,000 litres per second funnel down a 300-metre man-made course.

I am at the Tees Barrage International White Water Centre, situated next door to the Caravan and Motorhome Club’s White Water Park site, and provider of adrenaline-fuelled kayaking and rafting experiences.

To paddle down this torrent demands a reasonable level of proficiency in a solo kayak, but rafting requires no more than a sense of adventure and the ability to pull on a wetsuit and buckle up a helmet.

Perched beside me in the craft are five other thrill-seekers, including a mother and her 20-something daughter, and a couple celebrating a 60th birthday. We’re not a crew of extreme sport enthusiasts calling each other ‘dude’, but a (principally) silver-haired team ready to whoop and holler like we’re at a sugar-fuelled kids’ party.

Our captain (Major?), Tom, gives us a safety briefing. Helmets and life vests on, we’re ready to float in a most peculiar way. If we do fall out of the boat, we’re instructed to lie on our backs, with our toes sticking out of the water. The course may only be waist deep, but the force of the water makes it impossible to stand up.

“And hold on to your paddle,” says Tom. “You’re not much use to us without a paddle!”

Rescue involves grabbing the shoulder harness of the overboard rafter’s buoyancy aid and heaving them back over the side. It’s not glamorous, but it is effective.

“And remember to smile,” adds Tom. No one wants a miserable teammate.

We may be novices, but there’s no scope to be backseat passengers. On a flat stretch of water, we practise synchronising our paddling, aiming for the togetherness of an Olympic rowing eight, but looking more like uncoordinated contestants on the first week of Strictly. We’ll need greater harmony to steer between the obstacles lurking just below the surface – get it wrong and we’ll be bounced around like a pinball, free-falling over rapids sideways or backwards.

Teamwork is the key to success on the water

Our teamwork started before we even clambered into the raft, forming a circle so we could pull up the zips of each other’s wetsuits – Tom attributed any holes in the neoprene to Tees piranhas. There’s another crew on the water at the same time, and they’re on a stag do – their good-natured banter is soon lost to the roar of the water as the two rafts drift down to the start of the course and begin to accelerate.

“Lean in,” shouts Tom from the back of the raft as we plunge down the first set of rapids, water splashing up over the sides. Fortunately, it’s a self-bailing boat, so we don’t fill up like a bathtub.

The U-shaped course descends like a foxtrot – slow, quick, quick – and at the next set of rapids a wave washes over the boat. This is followed by a squeal, then a call of, “Man overboard!” A crewmate has been flung from the raft as if James Bond had activated an ejector seat – she drifts down the river and over another set of rapids before we can haul her aboard.

In no time at all we’ve reached the end of the run, and here’s where the Tees Barrage White Water Centre excels. In barely two minutes we carry the raft up a set of steps and we’re ready to descend the course again… and again… and again. Unlike white water rivers where a thrilling section passes, never to be repeated, here we can revisit the best bits every 10 minutes.

With each run our competence improves as our paddling synchronises, which means greater precision in the lines we can take through the rapids. Keen to push the needle of the unofficial drenchometer to 11 on the dial, Tom steers us into a quiet eddy while the other boat changes its seating configuration. Two of the crew lie down in the front of the boat staring skywards while the other four shift forwards. Their captain starts whistling Yellow Submarine…

Sure enough, the raft ploughs upstream into a rapid and sinks its nose. A tidal wave gushes over the prow, the back of the boat catapults skywards, and three of the crew are launched into the Tees. “So, who wants a go?” asks Tom, and like a team of class swots everyone’s hand flies up. Some of us may be closer to bus passes than GCSEs, but fun is fun.

In fact, we spend well over an hour hooting and howling as we career down the river. I end up with a fat lip from the handle of a stray paddle and a bruised rib from being flung across the raft onto someone’s knee, but I’m laughing too much to feel the pain.

It’s been an absolute blast, an unadulterated dose of exhilarating excitement, and in tribute to the giant Archimedes’ screws that make it possible, there’s only one thing to shout – “Eureka!”

Information

White Water Park Club Campsite

A two-hour white water rafting session at the Tees Barrage International White Water Centre costs £62.
Contact: tbiwwc.com, 01642 678000
Stay: White Water Park Club Campsite

Make a splash

Three more white water adventures…

National Water Sports Centre, Nottinghamshire
Twist and turn down the 700m white water course in a two-hour session (£49pp).
Contact: nwscnotts.com, 0115 982 1212
Stay: The Firs Club Campsite; Milestone Caravan Park AS; Wagtail Country Park AS

Cardiff International White Water, Cardiff
Choose between full throttle white water (£65pp), a reduced speed family session (£35pp), or descend the course solo in an inflatable tube!
Contact: ciww.com, 029 2082 9970
Stay: Tredegar House Country Park Club Campsite

Splash White Water Rafting, Perth & Kinross
Tackle the River Tay, including rapids such as ‘Zoom Flume’ and ‘The Washing Machine’, during a half-day session (£55pp).
Contact: rafting.co.uk, 01887 829706
Stay: Clachan Club Campsite; Maragowan Club Campsite